Learning to Say "No" to Others in Order to Say "Yes" to Yourself

I love to say "yes." I love to help people. I love to be that friend who is always there. I've definitely been called a people pleaser more than once.

But as a people pleaser, the greatest lesson I've ever learned was to say "no."

It seems silly, but I truly believe that saying "no" is a learned skill. It doesn't come naturally to all of us. My first instinct is always to put everyone else's needs before my own, but I'm not truly taking care of myself if I do that.

Self-care is important, people!

Case in point: I had a scenario come up recently where I had to say "no" in order to take care of myself. One of my close friends was in town and wanted to see me. Normally I'd jump at the chance, but I really just wanted to have a weekend with no social interactions.

So I said "no."

More specifically, I explained that my boyfriend and I had both had too much social time that week and we needed a day to just recharge our batteries. And so we did. We sat on our couch all day. In fact, I'm not sure we left the couch except to grab food. We stayed in our pajamas. We watched mindless movies and tv while playing on the internet. I didn't worry about being productive or working or getting anything done whatsoever. We spent time with one another and no one else. We recharged those batteries.

If I'd have said "yes," I would've likely ended up burned out, stressed, and needing a recharge more than ever. Instead, I took care of myself (and my boyfriend) and didn't regret one moment.

The best part was that my friend totally understood. She's a social butterfly, but she knows me well. She knows that instead of energizing me, social interactions drain me instead. And she was totally cool with it.

So next time your gut says to say "no," just say "no"! You won't regret it. You're worth it.